The Pub

The barmaids are easy and the NPCs give quests. Anything can happen... as long as it's funny. Beware of gazebo.
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Lachesis
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The Pub

Post by Lachesis » Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:14 am

I think we can sorta get started while we wait for the rest.

Those of you who have given sheets are seated at your usual table in your favorite pub. An attractive young blond girl (knowledge check for local laws pertaining to age of consent, you all know she's legal) comes up to your table. "Can I get y'all started with some drinks while you wait for the rest of yer party?"
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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:08 am

Squirrely removes his helm, "Ah, yes. A pint of your Golden Monkey Ale, and perhaps a shot of something stronger... miss? any recommendations?"

To the chaps sitting to the side, not attempting to quite his voice too much, "Inferior hairless primates. Watch your step around her Marvin, she's just a predator posing as a housecat. She'll hook you and gut you before you know it."
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Re: The Pub

Post by patransom » Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:54 am

Marvin sighs unneccesarily loudly toward the waitress, "Surely you realize anything I attempt to drink will end up on the floor? Such is my simply awful lot in unlife. I will have nothing and like it."

To Squirrly, he adds, "There was a time when no such girl could resist my charms, but I can no longer make touch attacks ... Even if I had a +1 condom, it would only work 50% of the time ... *SIGH*"

Marvin hovers near the table, staring with complete disinterest at the floor, composing depressing poetry in his head.
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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:33 am

:idea: Squirrely realizes Marvin is the world's perfect wingman!
"You stay close to your pal, Squirrely the Selfless, my gut tells me we're gonnan be great friends."
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Re: The Pub

Post by Lachesis » Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:50 pm

"We just got a shipment of Old Smooth Lips that I think is right down your alley. It tastes a bit flowery but I'm told it makes you lucky with the ladies." (you all fail your obscure drinks knowledge checks to know what it does)

To Marvin she whispers Cheer up cutie, I got a few condoms of ghost touch up in my room. I get off work at ten. Room number 6."
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Re: The Pub

Post by klakxor » Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:04 pm

Jackie sits there watching the interaction. To Squirelly, "Silly simian, don't you know these human womens only do tricks for their own kind."

To the waitress, "I am not all that interested in being lucky with the ladies, I just want something strong."

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Re: The Pub

Post by Lachesis » Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:21 pm

"Hmm... I think we got some dwarven ale sittin' around. I'll go check."
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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:48 pm

With his eyes, Squirrely follows the bimbo, or "waitress" (as they prefer to be called) as she marches off to get their drinks. He reaches into his armor scratching and adjusting himself until he's content. Then pulls out a pipe, packs it lights it and inhales deeply and begins a long fit of coughing and wheezing. A kind of retarded, blissfully ignorant smile streches across his monkey lips.

"Uh, you know... I once had an intelligence score to rival, uh, archmages, but I'm told that smoking this" He takes another draw from the pipe. "has reduce it to the level of a semi-retared bush. But, I'm so much more personable, I don't really mind. I mean who wants to be smart when you can be popular? Marvin knows what I'm talkin about. He's got corporeal babes falling all over and through him."

He puts his feet up on the table and leans back in his chair balancing precariously wit, plate armor clattering loudly and weapons banging about.

So, Marvin. Have you ever found that Kobold of Legend and his Keen Caster Bane Spear +3?
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Re: The Pub

Post by klakxor » Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:51 pm

Calling out to the waittress as she walks away, "I think Marvin here would like some dwarven spirits."

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Re: The Pub

Post by patransom » Wed Mar 05, 2008 4:15 pm

Squirrely wrote:"You stay close to your pal, Squirrely the Selfless, my gut tells me we're gonnan be great friends."
Marvin rolls his eyes, "Wonderful ... just what I need ..."
Squirrely wrote:So, Marvin. Have you ever found that Kobold of Legend and his Keen Caster Bane Spear +3?
"No, and you all would probably kill it before it got a chance to put me out of my misery ... *SIGH*
Waitress wrote:To Marvin she whispers Cheer up cutie, I got a few condoms of ghost touch up in my room. I get off work at ten. Room number 6."
Marvin gives a halfhearted attempt at a charming smile, but doesn’t quite remember how. It comes out looking like an expression of pain. "Fine ... but I’m sure it will be simply awful and I won’t enjoy it."
Jackie wrote:Calling out to the waittress as she walks away, "I think Marvin here would like some dwarven spirits."
"No. Dwarves are an annoying lot. Even worse when they’re undead."
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Re: The Pub

Post by TheGreenLabrador » Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:19 pm

ooc: Woah, active much guys. hahaha

Moriss, in the body of a random human male aged to the 16th of it's year, looks over at the monkey.

"For the proper incentive, I can make every night of your's be like congo. A new lady every night, regardless of whether or not she desires it. In fact, I can make that happen for pretty much anything..." looking at the ghost, imagining a dunce cap, "corporeal."

"And, in fact, I am thinking rather fondly of her doing despicable things at the threat of severing her spinal cord and using her body as a plaything for not not offering me anything to drink... "
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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:37 pm

"Huh? I quit listening after you started using big words. Keep 'em short and sweet, just the way Squirrely likes 'em. I like the way you think, can't have everyone running around free to do what they want, need to restrict personal freedoms in the name of security. I like you, we can be friends. You got guts, and guts ain't everything, but it's enough."

Still leaning back in his chair, with his feet up on the table, alternating between smoking his pipe, picking his nose, cleaning earwax and inspecting the rewards of his digging, consumed with boredom while *still* waiting for his drink, Squirrely pauses for a moment and uses Detect Evil to ensure that the bar is free of evildoers.

"I love a good bar fight. You never know what kinda baddys are laying low, tryin' to slip by you."
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Re: The Pub

Post by Lachesis » Wed Mar 05, 2008 9:14 pm

The barmaid comes back with seven rather large mugs of some sort of dwarven ale. "On the house boys, the owner wanted to thank you for taken care of his little ...problem the other day." A few days ago you helped get rid of a half-orc who was making the place smell horrible. "Can I get you boys anything else?"

Squirrely detects no evil outside of the group.
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Re: The Pub

Post by klakxor » Wed Mar 05, 2008 9:34 pm

"Moriss has about as much guts as Marvin. Well, thats not completely true. Morris borrowed his from the young lady. If'n you were to get into a nice simian girl, I think it would be much more suitable." Jackie laughs at his own joke.

When the barmaid arrives with his mug, he leans back in his chair and puts his feet up. "Whatcha got there Squirrly. Find yourself a beg old chunk of gold, did ya." As he says this, he starts going through his own fur, looking for mites.

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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:44 pm

Squirrely flicks the filth on his fingers at the nearest patron. "What's the point of mining nose gold if you can't share it with the villagers?"
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Re: The Pub

Post by patransom » Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:47 am

Marvin passes an incorporeal hand ineffectively through the handle of one of the mugs, "Free beer and none for Marvin ... *SIGH*"

Observing his erstwhile companion's personal grooming habits, he groans and sinks down beneath the table to float face down about an inch from the floor.
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Re: The Pub

Post by TheGreenLabrador » Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:50 am

Looking over at Ape #2, the red-haired teen opens his mouth to speak, "This is a male body thank you. And although decidedly frail and with apparent random pustules encompassing its face, is a fine transport and speech producer."

"Perhaps if the ale is enchanted... then you can at least drink half of it."
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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:16 pm

Squirrely ignores the drink set infront of him and continues smoking his pipe.

"A born leader like me can fill any role, but damnit I hate waiting. Doing things makes for a great leader, and my gut tells me that I should be doing things to make me known. And I need to be known damnit" Under his breath he adds, "for something other than running highly profitable businesses into the ground and starting wars with technologically inferior enemies."
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Re: The Pub

Post by klakxor » Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:57 pm

"Marvin, why don't you go float through a couple of the lasses. At least the shrieks of horror wil get a little excitement going here." Jackie chuckles, grabs one of his feet and gives a big sniff to it. Falling backwards from his chair, he realizes this might not have been a good idea.

"Damn thats a funky smell. Kinda smells like I have been walking for three days straight." Jackie straightens up his chair, sits down and puts his feet back on the table. Calling over to the waittress, "Hey sugar, looks like my drink tipped over. How about you find me another one"

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Re: The Pub

Post by patransom » Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:14 pm

Marvin continues to float near the floor, muttering, "Sure, scare the locals so they bring the local clerics and exorcists in here. I'm sure you'd love that."
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Re: The Pub

Post by klakxor » Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:28 pm

"They haven't started screaming yet, and you've been looking up their dresses for a good half hour now. Whaddya Squirrelly, how about we go scare up some fun around this place."

Jackie sits upright and grabs the drink that Squirelly is ignoring. Taking a big pull from the tankard, he lits out a sigh and looks to Squirelly. "You weren't drinking that, was ya."

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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:54 pm

"Of course not! Selfless Squirrely shares with all!" He smiles a big cheesey fake smile while mumbling something about the cost of atonement spells and difficulty in finding someone willing to perform any more on him. "As soon as I finish this pipe, we'll check with all these commoners and find us something to do."

He continues to smoke until his eyes are thoroughly glazed over and blooshot. He stares, long and hard, at the ceiling. Then looks around for a message board with adventure postings. And very slowly beings to stand.
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Re: The Pub

Post by Lachesis » Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:17 pm

The message board here has a few postings:

Wanted: Someone to kill an elemental!
I've been working on a new summoning spell and I guess I did it wrong. Come kill this fuzzy thing and I'll give you 1000g and the spell I used to summon it (dunno why you'd want it though). Come to the tower north-east of town.

Need Supplies
I need ...a few things for ...something. Pays well. Meet me in the cemetery at midnight if you're interested.

Math homework
I've found a large group of goblins and I want to know how many a person can kill in one minute. With more people I can get an average. Anyone who wants can come at noon to the farm west of town. Free hotdogs and you can keep whatever is on the goblins you kill!

Something
I hear the cave to the south has a powerful relic. Dunno what it is but there's probably a reason no one has gone in and gotten it.
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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:12 am

"I say we be demo-cratic, about this and vote on which one we do first... Each of you secretly tells me your vote and then I announce what we do! Fair and balanced. Yup, no flaws in this system."

now...

lets see...

if we do the summoning Marvin can get the new spell...
I'd like to check out the relic, but we should probably level build a bit first, if the loots any good the encounter is probably balanced for a higher level party.
The cemetary sounds cool, but it might bring back some unpleasant memories for Marvin...
I'd like to fight the goblins but kinda want to wait until I can get another feat..."
Last edited by MonkeyAlpha on Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Pub

Post by klakxor » Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:15 am

"Wonder what type of Elemental it is. Fire would burn my fur, so that wouldn't be very much fun. Beating up goblins for a minute just doesn't seem worth it. Especially since they don't normally carry a lot of anything useful. The relic might be interesting, but I suppose we should probably gain more experience before we do that. Dead things just kinda creep me out, but the graveyard gig does say it pays well. The graveyard and the elemental pay the most as far as I can tell, so my I think we should go woth one of them."

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Re: The Pub

Post by MonkeyAlpha » Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:04 am

"Sounds like you've got a good gut, I say the hairy monkey's right. We should do those two first, starting with the elemental, if we can take care of that during the day today, we can be at the cemetary by midnight..." and with that comment (and not waiting for the input from anyone else) Squirrelly flips a few coppers onto the table, puts on his helm and afixes his shield to his arm, then unbuckles and rebuckles several straps checking his armor until it's finally the same as it was when he started. With a look of satisfaction, he starts toward the door, looking over his shoulder, "Oh, uh... whatdaya you fellas think?" slightly annoyed having to defer to others for their opinions.
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Re: The Pub

Post by patransom » Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:37 am

Marvin sighs and comments, "It all sounds dreadfully boring to me. I don't care where you drag me. I'm sure I won't like wherever it is ..." He floats to a more vertical position. Apparently, in spite of his apathy, he's going wherever you are.
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Re: The Pub

Post by klakxor » Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:51 pm

"C'mon wormy, you should enjoy visiting your cousins tonight."

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Re: The Pub

Post by Lachesis » Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:37 am

All those going to the tower to fight the elemental, we'll be in the new topic.
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Re: The Pub

Post by TheGreenLabrador » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:55 am

"Cousins? Do you insinuate that I am related to the worms of this plane? I unfortunately do not turn into a fly... although it would be interesting I suppose to become a giant fly... or a tso-fly... hmm, regardless, I say we go to the mage tower. Perhaps there is more there that I can use..."
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